I am 100% still afraid of the dark. Not every night, just from time to time, something will spook me and my imagination will kick into overdrive and I’ll imagine terrible things lurking in the dark around me.
I read A LOT of Stephen King and watched A LOT of horror movies in my teens and twenties and my mum always said it would catch up with me. Well, fuck, turns out she was right. It has and it sucks. The things I imagine stalking me in the dark are pretty terrifying and also incredibly irrational for someone my age. At 31, I really should know better but… NOPE. “Fuck that”, says my brain.
So, what happens now is that I leave the light on until the fear subsides or I fall asleep and my partner comes home. I then get teased mercilessly about what a chicken I am. Which, really, is fair enough. This is some pretty childish shit going on here.
I made the mistake of watching Paranormal Activity a few years back and I couldn’t turn the light off for about a week. I lay awake in terror every night my boyfriend worked. I have to close my eyes during horror movie trailers for fear I’ll see something that will come back to terrorise me later. It’s ridiculous.
And even as I feel myself getting scared, I KNOW how stupid it is. It’s nothing “rational” like the fear of getting raped or even robbed or murdered by a — shock horror — human being. It’s always some crazy demon or supernatural creature that only the most fucked up of minds could imagine. Whhhhyyyyyyy???
Although, I did get terrible nightmares after watching a doco on the BTK serial killer… So there’s that. It seems my fascination for the dark side has some not-so-nice consequences. Seems all this death and despair sits around fermenting in your brain and then makes some pretty nasty moonshine.
So that’s me tonight. 2.54am and I’m trying to delay sleep because every creak in the house is a fucking hell monster coming to get me. Hope your Saturday night is panning out better.