, , ,


I am rarely decisive. This is not a trait that defines me. I’ve gotten better but it’s a constant chore, something I have to work at. But I think I may have decided this time. Something has to give and it has to be what I no longer enjoy, what I’m no longer growing from.

I came back from Splendour with such a fear for my future and what I would do with myself. I knew I needed to make a change and I think I may have a solution… Or at least a theory for one that I now just need to execute. Yes, the hard part. Or was the decision the hard part? I almost think voicing it out loud was the hardest. Saying it so someone else could hear and then judge. Yep, that was the hardest part for sure.

So yeah, decision making. Not a strong point of mine. Unless it’s what to eat for dinner but even that becomes complicated when I’m really hungry or there’s not much in the fridge or the menu is amazing (and I’m really hungry). Where to go for dinner? Now that’s a doozy. What to wear? Kill me now. A magic 8 ball would help with some of these but it just responds, it doesn’t suggest, which I think is a major flaw (someone should look into that).

But then I think about all the things I decide on and organise for others. Friends and family members who always let me decide what we do and where we go. It’s then I realise that maybe I’m not such a bad decision maker after all.