Well, it might not be last night exactly but some elements of the above are still lingering. It’s amazing how you remember nothing so your wonderful, traitorous mind makes it all up for you.
And so I wait for the repercussions because surely there must be some of those. It reminds me of school. Wondering who’ll tell, who knows, what whispers are making their way around the ‘school halls’ as we speak. How can I be 31 and still having these concerns?
It’s so easy to say no one else matters but the fact is that isn’t true. We care what people think. We’re affected by what people think. We have egos. We have pride. We can be humiliated and ashamed and these things affect us more when people know about it. When I trip, the first thing I do is look to see if anyone saw it. Sad but true fact right there people.
I don’t know if it would be worse to remember. I honestly don’t. What I do know is that I’m scared by the density of my forgetfulness. How can we trust ourselves when our bodies are able to carry on wreaking havoc long after our minds have clearly packed it in for the night?
I have two weekends left before I go on holidays. Perhaps I should spend those weekends locked inside as penance for my unruliness. Lord knows, some quiet time will do me good with what will no doubt be a massive rum-fest throughout the Caribbean looming big and broad in my future.
I think I can at least commit to keeping this weekend indoors (unless it’s sunny – then I’ll go to the beach. The beach doesn’t count).
Photo credit: Meetville