Some days, you can end up feeling ragged, stripped bare. Words are meant to be just words, just air, but the wrong words delivered consistently can turn you inside out and rip you apart. But only on the inside. These aren’t wounds everybody can see. You can’t do anything as simple as rock up at the doctor’s for antibiotics or douse yourself with Dettol and grab a band-aid. Yet the poison (or should I say the resulting infection?) is no less real. And it sucks.
It sucks feeling like shit because of careless words and throwaway sentences. To be laid bare and vulnerable, stripped clean of defences and self esteem by the opinion of another. Even the most thick-skinned person has to break eventually. The term ‘water off a duck’s back’ cannot apply indefinitely. I’m sorry, I just don’t think we’re built that way.
I’ve witnessed (and been on the delivering/receiving end) of so many of these little struggles. Times where people who are supposed to care about one another do terrible things – but just with their voices, like it means nothing. Sometimes you try and stick up for the person or are left wishing someone would stick up for you. Sometimes you’re the person standing there wondering how such horrible things left your mouth.
It always surprises me what we’re capable of when we’re hurt or angry, even tired or hungry (hungry for me especially). Most people recognise what they’ve done and apologise but I fear many others wander around never knowing what havoc they’ve wreaked with someone’s psyche.
I’m going to try and be better. That’s all anyone can do, really.