I’m a massive planner. I plan my birthday party months in advance. I help organise my partner’s birthday. I plan 99% of all of our social doings: boat days on the harbour, dinners, beach days with friends, weekends away, lunches, etc. My background is in admin so you could say it’s one of my skill sets and I generally enjoy doing it but every now and then I resent it.
It can get tiring being the only person that plans things. Sometimes it feels like you wouldn’t see your friends if you didn’t organise something. Your hard work receives varying levels of gratitude, depending on which friends are involved. And then you have the people that make planning things extremely hard, especially for big groups. These are the people that don’t respond to messages, that can’t make up their mind or that change their mind at the last minute. *sigh*
I must admit, I think part of my organising comes down to wanting to control things. I like being able to decide who comes, what we do and when we do it. It’s definitely a plus in my book and all the hard work in the lead up is worth it when a good day is had by all. But sometimes the stress beforehand leaves me hardly on speaking terms with some of the ‘trouble attendees’.
My partner often says I take things too seriously, too personally. In my more lucid moments, I would tend to agree. But really, how hard is it to reply to a text message? To just say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ or ‘I’ll get back to you tomorrow’. These are things that don’t take much time on your end but make other people’s lives much easier, people who are trying to organise something fun for you to do and all you have to do is send a message or transfer/drop off money. *sigh again*
Every time I get stressed, I tell myself I won’t be the organiser again. But as my (very wise, it would seem) partner says, ‘We’re the organisers. That’s why we have such a good life. All our friends wouldn’t get to do all this good stuff – we wouldn’t get to do all this good stuff – if we didn’t plan it’. So there’s that.
I suppose sometimes you just have to recognise your station in life. And hey, if it causes you a bit of grief to have a better life with your friends around, then so be it.