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sleep

I’m having trouble sleeping. And I’m someone that needs 7 to 8 hours sleep to prevent feeling like I might end up killing some poor fool throughout the day. So yeah, you could say it’s a problem.

Things aren’t quite drastic yet but they’re on the way. I’m waking up before it’s reasonable to do so considering the time I went to bed. I wake up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep or it takes forever. This then contributes to my total lack of motivation for getting out of bed. It’s a vicious cycle.

The start of school next week is definitely freaking me out. I’m still trying to organise my birthday weekend away. A few last minute drop outs have me scrambling to fill beds. And we can’t forget the ongoing search for a second part-time job. I know I have things to worry about so it’s not really surprising this is happening but that doesn’t make it any less annoying when I’m awake at 6.30 in the morning after having only gotten to bed at 1am.

I used to take an anti-nausea medication that was essentially Valium and, at the moment, I’m both glad and sad we don’t have any in the house. If I find myself sleepless again at 4.30am, I will definitely take a tablet if it means I’ll be able to get some frigging sleep. Hell, I’ll admit it. I’ve done it before and I’ll probably do it again. I’m not proud of myself but I’ll be goddamned if I’m going to lay awake for hours on end when I have the perfect magic bullet medicine sitting up in a cupboard somewhere just waiting to be swallowed. That’s its damn job! Does it really matter that I’m taking it to go to sleep rather than to stop my nausea? Ok, don’t answer that one.

*Sigh* I know it will all pan out eventually but, in the meantime, I’m tired and cranky and full of resentment towards anyone that looks well-rested and pleased at the course of their existence.

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