Yesterday, I woke up to a follow up email from a job interview I had on Monday. They said they would call me sometime during the day. I was excited and nervous and I stayed that way for the whole day. 5pm came and went and they still hadn’t called. By the end of the day, I just wanted to know either way. Just so I would finally know and be able to stop playing all the scenarios out in my head.
It wasn’t like I sat by the phone all day, waiting while staring at it, willing it to ring with that phone call. Ok, maybe I did a little bit of that but mostly I got on with my day, kept busy. I spent all morning doing my uni work then got a driving lesson from my mum. Drove all the way into the city for the first time (and survived). Went to the gym. And finally, while eating my Thai green chicken curry and brown rice on the steps of a closed cafe, I could take no more. My shift at the bar was due to start at 6pm and I still hadn’t heard anything. In a state of nervous agitation, I called my partner for advice.
“What time is it?’ he asked me. I told him it was nearly 6pm. “It’s after five. Call them tomorrow.”
Gah! Not the answer I wanted but I could see his point.
“This has put me in the worst mood,” I griped, feeling hard done by and slighted.
“Don’t bring that to work with you!” he replied, which pissed me off even further so I mumbled bye and hung up on him.
Sitting on the steps with my now forgotten dinner, I took stock of my situation. What could I do? I didn’t know why I hadn’t been called. There could have been a family or work emergency. It could’ve just been a really busy day and they’d never gotten around to it. There were a million and one reasons why my phone call hadn’t been the top priority of the day. Sure, it sucked for me but what could I really and truly, honest to god do about it? Fucking nothing, unless I was going to make the call myself. Which I didn’t really have the balls to do.
Thinking it through had made me slightly less upset. So I took a few deep breaths and continued to talk myself out of my foul mood. My partner was right, I couldn’t go into work with such a black cloud over my head. Someone would get stabbed, most likely with a swizzle stick, and things would get worse from there. Compared to that scenario, not receiving a much anticipated phone call was a walk in the park on a summer’s day.
Which leads me to today’s image. On this particular day, I did wake up in a good mood, was in a good mood all day and then something fucked with me. I had the choice of spiralling into a black hole of misery or saying, ‘nope, not today, motherfucker!’ I chose the latter, which is not always the case for me. Seems maybe this old girl’s finally learning some life skills. Who would’ve thought?