Image credit: Inspirably
I have two interviews lined up this week and I’m determined not to get too invested in either of them. I have a tendency to do this, get attached to things too soon. This applies to things like jobs and people I’ve met on the internet, which is weird because, once upon a time, I never got invested in anything or anyone but noooooooo… of course, things had to change. Of course things are different. And being someone that gets too invested is so much harder than someone that never invests at all. Or at least it seems this way at the moment.
When I was younger, I was never one for attachment. I never got attached to anything or anyone, be it person or gym class. I couldn’t remain focused on anything for long. The spark of interest would quickly gutter and fade and I’d be off looking for the next shiny, new thing to catch my eye. My current partner of nine years is my first boyfriend. I never saw anyone exclusively before that and that’s not to say that I didn’t see anyone because that would be very, very far from the truth. I just never committed. Why should I when being free of commitment was so much easier? I saw all my friends getting attached to people and getting hurt and I just thought, why bother?
And plus I just never felt the need to. Nothing or no one really mattered enough, I suppose. I was always a bit of a loner and I was in that phase where I just did whatever I wanted and suffered the consequences. But at least I didn’t have to answer to anyone. It was sometimes a very lonely way to live and I suppose it wore thin eventually because, when I started seeing my current partner, things changed quickly for me and it seemed natural to form an attachment, although I fought it initially.
These days, it seems like my romantic attachment has contaminated my judgement in other areas (yeah, I know it’s a stretch, just let me be). Now, I fill out job applications, put together my resume, write my cover letter and, at the time, every one of them seems like the greatest job ever and I want it, want it, want it. That is, until it’s submitted and I’m onto the next one. I get caught up in the moment, envisioning my new life, my new role. Advertising must realllllly work on me. Sell something well and I’m pretty much guaranteed to at least have a flicker of interest… depending on what it is, really.
I suppose I’ll do my best to keep myself at a distance. I’m not actually that keen on the role for tomorrow’s interview. I thought I was but, after further consideration, I’m not sure. I don’t know if I’m that keen to work part time across five days. I think two to four full days will suit me best (ideally three) as I’ll have a more solid block of time to get my uni work done. I am keen about the one on Tuesday though so we’ll see how that goes.
Must. Stay. Cool. And. Not. Get. Attached. Must Channel. Past. Nat.
Image credit: Quotes