Sometimes I worry that I’m putting my life on hold while I sort this job search thing out. I keep finding myself saying I’ll do this or that… Once I get a job. I’ll get back to my driving lessons… Once I have a job. I’ll get a personal trainer… Once I have a job (although, to be fair, that’s also a financial thing).
But frankly, I already have a job. It’s a second job I’m after and, really, not all that much should change, except that I’ll have more money and won’t have to work as many nights. Yet somehow I’ve convinced myself that this unending job search is what’s preventing me from living the life I want to live. Sure, it’s inconveniencing. Sure, it’s a time consuming pain in the ass to have to apply for jobs and go to interviews but there’s very little I can’t do at this point because of it.
The problem is that I don’t know what I want to do. I have no fucking clue what will make me happy. Sure, I have some vague ideas for when I finish uni and have obscene amounts of time on my hands but that’s over a year away. What will make me happy or, if not completely happy, at least make things bearable now? Right this second.
Ok, let’s think about this. What things can I do right now – in my current situation – to make me feel better and less like I’m putting my life on hold?
- Be more active/go to the gym – this makes me feel better about myself and generally encourages me to eat better and step away from the junk food and sweets (most of the time). I can easily do more of that and I need to because I have Tough Mudder in November and I’m nowhere near as fit as I need to be if I want to finish the course (and not be the team slow-poke, which I probably will be anyways simply by virtue of having the shortest legs).
- Less hangovers – not being hungover is a win because hungover Nat is not a Nat that will even consider going to the gym. Dry July is helping me in this quest; I haven’t had a hangover (or a drink) in three weeks and, damn, if it doesn’t feel good. And, once Dry July is over, our partying guidelines should keep hangovers to a minimum (although that will all go out the window at Splendour in the Grass, I’m guessing, but I’m OK with that pre-planned slip up).
- Get my driver’s licence – Start booking my frigging driving lessons with my mum and my partner. I was doing it before, l can do it now. OK, I have added that to today’s ‘to do’ list. It will be done.
- Be productive. Start making to do lists again so that I get stuff done, rather than stuffing around and accomplishing nothing. During the week, I have Mondays and Wednesdays off completely and usually have at least half days to myself (sometimes more) on Tues, Thurs and Fri. I need to manage my time better and make sure I get all my uni stuff done so I can maximise my free time and keep my weekends study free (as much as possible).
- Be more social. Plan stuff for my days off. See people and spend quality time with my partner so that, when I do have down time, I feel like I’m using it wisely and not wasting it by watching TV on the couch. To be fair, I’m pretty decent at this one already but there’s always room for improvement.
OK, so what can I accomplish today? I’ve got my to do list and am already powering through it. I will book a driving lesson for this week and maybe next week. I’m already winning on the not hungover front. Yay! And, while I don’t think I’ll get to the gym, I can commit to taking myself out of the house for a walk or maybe a run later on, once I’ve gotten more done. I’ve got stuff planned for this weekend and next, so I think I’m doing well on the social front although I did promise a friend I’d do dinner with her, so I’ll add that to my ‘to do’ list.
There we go… progress! Tricky part is to keep it up.
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