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I was very excited when I first realised being engaged meant I got to plan a wedding. I love party planning so instantly my head was filled with thoughts of venues, decorations, colour schemes and invite lists. Eventually it dawned on me there was another key element: The Dress. Shit. I’m not a huge lover of clothes shopping. Shoes are fine – in fact, shoes I love – but, when it comes to clothes, I’m generally smaller than the smallest Australian sizes and I have curves in places most small Australian people don’t.
Sure, I do OK sourcing my outfits but it’s usually due to dumb luck and some sneaky alterations. Most of the time, my clothes shopping trips end with me giving up in a huff and spending the rest of the day feeling frustrated at my tiny, non-standard-person shape. And so it was that, when the thought of wedding dresses occurred to me, I was filled with a nameless dread.
I would have to try dress after dress after dress, getting more and more dejected at each subsequent failure. I never wear these types of glamorous gowns so, no doubt, I would feel uncomfortable and out of place. I wouldn’t feel like me. Nothing would come in my size – I would need to alter it or get something custom made, which would cost a bazillion dollars. In fact, I actually went straight to the custom wedding dress people as I thought there would be no way I’d find something in the ‘normal’ stores.
Plus I had a few conditions:
  • Must be able to dance in it – because I WILL be dancing
  • Not too much fabric – because I don’t like to wear a lot of clothes
  • No high necks or long sleeves – see above point
  • Not too bling, e.g. all covered in sequins or beading, etc. – because I’ll get hot and it will weigh down my dance moves plus, if someone throws me in the pool, I may well drown
  • Must show off my tiny waist and great ass – just because.
And, before you interrupt me, I know I don’t have to wear a dress. I can wear pants. I can wear something casual. I can do whatever the hell I want. I know that. I’m still not even sure I’ll wear white. But hear me out because this story is about to take a turn for the better.
Far from being a horrible, self-esteem ruining experience, wedding dress shopping has actually been amazing. Turns out a lot of places will customise and/or make a dress make specifically for you and it’s not as expensive as I thought so I needn’t have worried on that account. Sure, every dress I’ve tried on has swum on me but the attendant pins things up and in and generally fusses around you so you have an idea of what it would look like. PLUS, I’m realising I have a pretty dynamite figure in some of these more slinky numbers.
I never really wanted to wear a big, full skirted princess dress so, while I tried a few on, it was more just a comparison exercise to rule them out. Backless and form-fitting ruled my Pinterest page from the day it was created and so far my favourites replicate this. I currently have a shortlist of 7 or 8 dresses with 4 more stores to scope out. Things are going better than I’d hoped and I plan to make a decision  by the end of the month, even if it’s just on the style, which I then get custom made with some colour, etc.
And I actually like what I’m seeing in the mirror. Not that I hate my body or anything like that but I have the usual concerns about the standard bits and pieces that don’t look as I’d like them to (and maybe would if I said no to dairy and sweets every now and again – oh yeah and went to the gym).
Turns out my tiny waist and big ass look pretty fucking incredible in a figure-hugging silk/satin/crepe/whatever the fuck kind of fabric number. For a non-girly girl, I pull off a dress ok. Maybe it won’t be a white dress but it’s looking like it’ll definitely be a dress of some kind. A girl only gets to dress up like this every now and again so I may as well make the most of it and go balls deep on something super fabulous, am I right? Of course I am and you know it.