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I’m not a very tactile person. I don’t touch people very much and I generally don’t like people touching me, especially people I don’t know. I’m nowhere near as bad as the person who needs to wear the above sweater but, still, I have a decently defined area of personal space. This weirdly also translates into a very physical reaction when I watch someone getting groped/manhandled on TV, even though I know it involves actors and isn’t real.

For example, I watch a lot of Law & Order: SVU (please keep reading). Of course, this often involves women (and yes, sometimes men) having some very unsavoury things done to them. Actually, a lot of shows feature this kind of stuff now. Every now and again, I’ll watch a scene like this and it’ll physically make me jerk away, as if I’m the one that’s about to be touched by the current on screen dickhead. It’s totally involuntary and I feel like a fucking idiot because, of course, I’m not about to be touched. I’m watching an acted out scene on tv for chrissakes. Yet still, it makes me shudder.

Because is there truly any worse feeling than having someone touch you when you don’t want them to? That skin-crawly feeling when someone puts their hands on you and you stare at it like it’s a venomous snake and want to scream, “Don’t fucking touch me!” and wipe furiously at your skin? Yep, it’s the worst. And for me, I get it with overly friendly strangers but it can also happen with people I know if they’re sweaty. Or if I’m just not in the mood to be touched for no reason whatsoever.

The flipside of this is that, when I drink, I can get very touchy and am probably the creep other people want to scream at and brush away. So perhaps karma is just giving me a taste of my own medicine. Wouldn’t that be a hoot?

Image credit: Quotesgram