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No, I haven’t fallen off the face of the earth. I have in fact had more time than ever (what with uni being done now for three next months) yet somehow I’ve found myself with less time to write. I want to read my current book (A Little Life) but that hasn’t been happening. All the little wedding things are taking up most of my time. I mean, you could spend a fucking fortune on knick knacks and cutesy signs and shit if you were that way inclined. Thankfully, I’m not but etsy is making me feel less of a woman for not getting involved (fuck you, etsy, I will not bow to your constant excellent suggestions on how to have the most beautifully accessorised wedding – although I am tempted).

It’s only five and a bit weeks until we get married. Holy fucking shit. It has definitely crept up on me. We had our hens/bucks on the weekend, which definitely took it out of me. Aside from the actual party itself, there was all of the planning in the lead up. Thank god for friends stepping up to help with some of the last minute running around. I would’ve been up shit creek without those few special people who asked if I needed anything and then were actually willing to get involved. Not that I expected every person invited to help but the people who did were a godsend.

It’s strange. When the hens finally arrived, I was almost disappointed. Not because it wasn’t fun but because it was here and then over and I’d been looking forward to it for so long that I felt a kind of weird emptiness. Will I feel that way after the wedding? A “now what next?” feeling? I suppose I will. I get the same feeling after my birthday each year. If I had to guess, I’d say that for anyone that spends any decent amount of time planning or looking forward to something, you’re always going to feel a bit empty/at a loss when it’s over and you need to find the new thing to keep yourself occupied with.

Still now the hens is over, maybe I can cruise a little. It’s just small things to organise now. Finalising meal numbers and hair and make up and putting the finishing touches on the decor. *sigh* Ha. Who am I kidding? I am not one to cruise. I’ll find something to fill my time. In fact, we’re been seeing a personal trainer these past few weeks in a last ditch effort to get a tiny bit more fit for the wedding. We’ve committed to three days a week plus whatever else we do on our own time (thus far: nothing) but even just doing that a few days a week has been fun/exhausting/energising.

My goal is to try and get around to some of the NON-WEDDING stuff I’ve been meaning to do. Like ummmm… write here and read my book and basically anything non-wedding related. Not that I’m finished with that stuff, more that I want to make it fit around other stuff. We’re so close now that there are realistically only a few things left to do yet, the more time I spend on it, the more additional but non-essential things I’ll add to the list. It’s could easily become a never-ending job if you let it. And I don’t want it to be. I want to finish my damn book!